![]() ![]() However, living through 2020 was particularly disruptive for me as a new business owner and mother of two, and it took me awhile to adjust. It was an unexpected curveball of parenthood and I’ve learned that, pandemic or not, it happens to most couples. Having two under age 2 was hard but also helped us learn how to work better together and how to steal time until we could make time. There were times our relationship suffered because we didn’t know how to prioritize it once we had children. Having uninterrupted time to talk or even problem solve with my spouse went to the bottom of our growing to-do lists. Having kids takes a lot of energy and focus, especially if they’re 20 months apart. ![]() Any time you have a baby, you and your partner change. I started a new business in 2019, just before I had our second baby. In spite of that, we feel lucky to have weathered the financial, emotional, and social storms of this time together. I can say that truthfully and honestly because we’re now on the other side of those stressors. These years have been stressful, and it’s been difficult to juggle the demands of our relationship with our children and careers. We’ve spent the last two years in a pandemic - and in and out of quarantine with two very young children. ![]() This year my husband and I will be married for seven years. We start marriages with the promise of forever, knowing that is not meant for every marriage. Choosing to stay in a relationship and love someone through years of change is pretty incredible. As long as you are able to accept and respect the other, no matter how different one is, both will remain on the same side of the coin.While I don’t consider getting married an accomplishment, I have come to consider staying married an accomplishment. It is acceptable to have different opinions and beliefs. Marriage does not mean you have to agree to everything. It is draining to be with someone who is dissatisfied with the person you fundamentally are. ![]() Married life becomes way simpler once you are able to accept your spouse for the beautifully flawed person s/he is. Just the way trust is the foundation of a good relationship, so is acceptance. We have been happy and peaceful ever since and are currently enjoying part two of our honeymoon phase," she said with a broad grin. We learnt to accept each other for what we are without trying to change. Thankfully I survived it but that brush with death suddenly bought everything in perspective for the both of us. When asked what changed between them, Shezeen recalled, "I met with a life threatening accident one day. The love between us was always there but we could not seem to let go of the hope that the other would change," said Hisham in a pensive mood, recalling those days. "After the first few years of marriage, both of us came to a point where we were constantly struggling to change each other's lifestyle and that led to a lot of fights. In the initial years of their married life they each tried to change themselves to suit their partner, but gradually with the passage of time they both got weary of trying to be someone they are not. Hisham and Shezeen (names changed on request) come from two very different family backgrounds, one very modern the other rather conservative. Have a screaming match if you need to, but it is always better to get it out of your system than to let resentment fester. Not only is it necessary to discuss your problems and find an amiable solution but also in cases where there is no solution, beg to differ and make your peace with that difference. That only helps build a huge wall of resentment between the couple. However it also needs to be mentioned that it is never a good idea to sweep your marital problems under the rug and pretend that everything is fine. The sooner you are able to let go and forgive that person, irrespective of whether they asked for it or deserve it, you save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress and heartache. "I used to talk to my mother regularly then and from her I learnt the value of letting go."Ĭlinging on to feelings of hurt only torture one person and that is you, while the person who caused the heartache goes about living life normally. Lucky for her she confides a lot in her mother. That would bother me for days and made our relationship sour." I used to take to heart any negative thing he said to me during those fights. She said, "We had suddenly started to fight a lot on small issues. She recalls a time in her marriage after she had just had her son. She met her husband while on a holiday they fell in love and soon got married. Anika (name changed on request) has been happily married forġ2 years now. ![]()
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